White Lies and Other Half Truths Read online

  “You must also tell her as many ways as possible to avoid marital duties. I know I have become quite efficient in fending off Mr. Phillips over the years. Why, even last night I told him that I had a stomach ache and just could not bear to have his weight upon me.”

  “Oh, Mr. Bennet truly believes that I have so many flutterings and tremblings that he avoids me most of the time. I must admit that it was very creative of me to come up with a nervous condition that would last my entire life. It can always be depended on as an excuse to avoid my husband visiting my bed,” Fanny laughed.

  And then she continued, "Little does anyone know that I have been faking my nerves for years! Of course, I end up having to smell those nasty smelling salts when I do not even need them. But I get to escape to my bedroom for my nerves. Sometimes I use them as an excuse to miss other things. I could have been an actress, you know!”

  “Fanny Bennet, you mean that all of these years, you do not suffer from your nerves,” Aunt Phillips exclaimed, and they all began to laugh. Their laughter escalated to cackles, and ended up with all of them pulling out their handkerchiefs to wipe their eyes.

  “I do not think she can use nerves as her excuse. She is too like her father for that. Perhaps I should encourage her to have arguments with her husband m and keep him so mad at her that he will want to avoid her bed, “Fanny pondered creatively.

  “Yes, her impertinent mouth has always been a problem for her. I still cannot imagine a man such as Mr. Darcy choosing your Elizabeth,” Lady Lucas shared.

  “Perhaps he thinks with all of her walking, she will have long endurance. I imagine a man like that would like to come to her over and over all night long,” Aunt Philips announced.

  “Beatrice… oh… I must help her with excuses. She cannot have to bear him over and over. Even Lizzy does not deserve that,” Fanny responded to her sister Phillips as she rose from her seat and walked to the window for a bit.

  “Well, the best thing for her to do is to encourage him to get a mistress, or maybe two. He is so rich; making such an arrangement will be no problem for him. Then she can just enjoy his riches and avoid his company,” Mrs. Long stated.

  “Oh, I would imagine a man such as he already has a mistress. He has probably had one since he first came of age. He looks like a man who would need a way to complete his desires on a regular basis.” It was Lady Lucas this time.

  “I wonder what it is these paid mistresses and courtesans do to keep men so comforted and occupied. Do you think they really enjoy relations? I know I have never enjoyed them in all of these many years,” said Mrs. Philips.

  “Nor I, Beatrice, but it is a burden we wives must bear.” Mrs. Long agreed.

  “I once talked with a courtesan while visiting a modiste in London for over an hour. She told me it has a lot to do with whether a man is willing to arouse a woman prior to actually entering her. She shared with me tips about how I could encourage Sir William to touch me on my breasts and in my private area before entering me. To be honest; I have never had the courage to ask him to do so. It just seemed too improper. This woman told me she was very satisfied, and she thoroughly enjoyed relations. She said women could have as much enjoyment from them as men, but I have never believed that could be so,” Lady Lucas admitted.

  “Well,” Mrs. Bennet giggled and blushed. “Once, when we were newly married, Mr. Bennet took my gown all the way off and actually, well let us just say that he acted like he was a hungry baby. I must say that I enjoyed it quite well; but I never encouraged him to continue. I was always told that I was to remain still and quiet. I was not to let my husband know I found any enjoyment in anything, or he would think me wanton. So it ended up being just that once. But I find myself thinking back on it from time to time.”

  “Well, you were wise, Fanny. If you had encouraged him even once, I dare say he would have become insatiable. He may not have let you leave his bed, repeatedly ravishing you until you could no longer stand,” Mrs. Long giggled as she finished and they all joined in.

  “Well, all I have to say is I pray Elizabeth can bear him a child quite quickly after marriage, with any luck on the first try. As soon as she is sure she is with child, I am sure she can convince him to leave her alone. If it is a male child, perhaps he would be happy to avoid her bed for the remainder of their lives,” announced Fanny.

  “As if she could be so lucky,” stated Mrs. Philips. And they all agreed.

  *~*~*~*~*

  Elizabeth finished recounting her tale, but continued to pace. She did not hazard a look at William for several minutes. When she could look at him, he was looking down and running his hand through his curls. She could tell that he was breathing heavily. It was apparent to her that he was trying to calm himself.

  She knew that he would be angry about what her mother and friends had said about him. She just prayed that he would not be angry with her. She could not believe she had told him all of this. She did not even know what it all meant. She, in the deepest corners of her heart, hoped he would be willing to explain some of it to her.

  She had no one she trusted to talk to, except, perhaps her Aunt Gardiner. But Aunt Gardiner was not scheduled to arrive for a few more days due to her Uncle Gardiner’s business. She needed to believe that marital relationships were not as horrible as her mother and her friends had said.

  A few more minutes passed, and Darcy said quietly, “Come, my dear. Sit by me, please.” He said it as gently and with as much love as he could allow himself at that moment. He motioned for her to sit on the log next to him.

  Elizabeth was not expecting him to be calm and gentle; but she could not have been more grateful. She returned to the log, and he took her into his arms and hugged her tightly to himself. It was what they both needed to calm themselves, at least enough to speak of her confession. It was several minutes before Darcy spoke again, as he lifted her head to look into his eyes.

  “Elizabeth, do you know of what they speak? Did you understand all of what they said? Was this the first time you had heard talk of such things?” Darcy asked.

  Darcy thought, Good God, no wonder she was terrified and so reticent to speak with me! Would she believe any of it was true? That I would have a mistress! I know now why she had been so apprehensive to speak with me. But I promised her I would not be angry with her. Even if I feel anger at the presumption of her mother and her friends, saying what they did of me, I will not show my anger. At the same time, I am grateful I can help her overcome this. Darcy’s thoughts were having the desired effect, helping him to calm down. She said she would trust him. He could not fail her.

  “I know very little, William. Oh, I am a country girl and I have seen our sheep and cattle mate. I have changed the nappies of my boy cousins, but I fear that I do not know much else. I know that men are built differently than women, but I have never seen a man. You are the first man to kiss me.“

  “Will you trust me, Elizabeth? Will you trust me to talk with you more over the next few days, and try to calm your spirit? This has been a very difficult revelation for you. We have been gone for some time and should go back soon, but I would like to help calm your fears. I believe that our marital relations can bring you as much pleasure as they will bring me, but it will not be so unless you trust me to guide you in this matter. I promise not to force anything upon you that you do not wish. Will you try, my sweet Lizzy?”

  “Yes, I will try to trust you, William,” she whispered to him. And after a deep breath, she said, “I am so grateful for your reaction to this. I was so afraid that you would only hear the unkind words they said of you, and not how they affected me. You know not what it means to me for you to comfort me and not share your anger; for I know that you must be angry. I know you that well, you know. You must have been affected by part of what they said,” she chanced a glance into his eyes.

  “Yes Elizabeth, I was angered by part of it. I want to assure you that I have NEVER had a mistress, nor will I EVER choose to have one. You have my promise on that. O
ne by one, we will speak of these things over the next few days. If you will permit me, I will be your teacher. I will do all I can to relieve your fears, my love.”

  “Thank you, William,” she said as she nestled her head under his chin.

  “Good! Now today I do want to ask of you one thing. Think of it as your lesson, can you do that?”

  She smiled up at him and simply said, “Yes.”

  “What did you feel when we kissed? The two times that we have kissed, what did you feel? Can you describe it to me?”

  Elizabeth was blushing and she looked down at his chest, but he immediately lifted her eyes back to his. “Tell me, my love, what you felt. I know you felt something.”

  “I felt warmth. It started in my lips but it spread quickly and I felt warm all over,” she stopped.

  “That is a good start, now what else did you feel? What did you experience?”

  “My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest. It was like I felt full and trembling at the same time. My legs started to quiver, and I thought I might fall down. My stomach was fluttering but it was like, I do not know how to describe it, it was like rushing water.”

  Darcy smiled at her, “Elizabeth, I believe God gives us those feelings in our body to allow us to enjoy each other. Believe me when I tell you, I believe you will feel even better when we join as man and wife. There is much I will tell you before our wedding, a few things I can show you, but more I can teach you after we are wed. Right now, however, I would like to kiss you again. Is that all right, my dear? May I kiss you?”

  “Why, Mr. Darcy, you have never asked before,” she said with a grin, a small giggle and a raised brow.

  Thank God for this woman. My Luscious Lizzy is back! Darcy thought.

  “Minx!” he exclaimed as he pulled her onto his lap and then kissed her. It was a full mouth, soft, warm, slightly wet kiss. He kissed her again and again. Then he alternated between kissing her top lip and her bottom lip, instilling her with his love. He moved to kiss the right corner of her mouth, and then the left corner, and then he kissed along her jawbone and down her neck to the pulse point where he kissed her long and deeply, conscious not to do leave a mark. Then he returned up the same path. When he reached her mouth again, he paused.

  He looked deeply into her eyes, and he saw an emotion there that he had not seen before. He would not yet ask her to speak of what she felt. But it looked like adoration, gratitude and if he was lucky... perhaps, just perhaps, trust. He kissed her long and deeply on her mouth one last time. Then he stopped and rested his forehead against hers.

  “I believe that was enough of a lesson for today, my dear. Let us get you home.” They rose and walked again towards Longbourn. This time she did not hesitate to walk arm in arm with him.

  Chapter 6

  2 December 1811, Longbourn

  Tom Bennet sat at his desk, still laughing over the letter he had received from his friend, Edward Fitzwilliam. He decided to read that one line again:

  If only George were still here to realize that you and he had won and not Catherine and Anne.

  Yes, Edward, George and I won indeed. To you, Fitzwilliam! He laughed quietly to himself and downed a shot of his favourite port.

  As Tom Bennet continued to sit and meditate on his good fortune in having won a son-in-law such as Fitzwilliam Darcy, that same gentleman knocked on his door, requesting admittance.

  “Come in, come in, Mr. Darcy,” exclaimed Mr. Bennet. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company in my private abode this afternoon? Have you tired of my Lizzy’s company already and come to re-negotiate?”

  Darcy laughed, “No, Mr. Bennet, I fear that I will never tire of your daughter’s lively company,” and then he smiled. “I just received the settlement papers from my attorney in London and wanted to review them with you, sir, if you have time. If you have any suggestions or improvements, they would be most welcome. Plus I need a little information from you before they can be finalized.”

  “Have a seat, have a seat,” Mr. Bennet exclaimed with a smile. “May I offer you a taste of my best port? Care for a little celebration with your soon to be father-in-law, son?”

  “That sounds very good indeed.” With that, Mr. Bennett poured Darcy a drink, and another for himself. He pointed towards a chair in front of his desk and Darcy sat down.

  “Now, Mr. Darcy, how do you wish to proceed? Do you want me to look over what you brought and then talk about it, or the other way around?” Mr. Bennet questioned.

  Darcy handed him the sheaf of papers and said, “Why do you not review the papers, sir. I will look over the shelves of your library as you do, if you do not mind, sir.”

  “Fine, fine,” Mr. Bennet said distractedly, as he was already looking at the papers.

  After some time passed, Mr. Bennet said, “This is very thorough, Mr. Darcy, but I do not think you have taken Lizzy’s dowry into consideration.”

  “I was unaware that there was a dowry. It has been said that the Bennet sisters are dowerless…”

  Mr. Bennet quickly interrupted him, “Yes, yes, as it has been said that you are worth ten thousand pounds per annum. I dare say you are worth at least three times that from what I see in these documents.”

  Darcy blushed slightly and said, “As you see, sir.”

  “Well, well, you see Mr. Darcy; we all have our secrets, do we not? Actually, not even my daughters are aware of their dowry. I hoped they would marry for love, and I never wanted them to be placed on the marketplace of the ton with a price tag on their heads. I dare say you know what that is like. Do you not hear ten thousand pounds a year as you enter ballrooms?” He raised his brow at Darcy with a smirk. Darcy was reminded of his favourite expression on Lizzy’s face.

  “I have grown accustomed to it over the years, sir. But I do understand what you say. So Lizzy has a dowry, we can just add that to her settlement,” stated Darcy rather matter of factly.

  “Do you not have any curiosity of what the dowry entails, Mr. Darcy?”

  “If you would tell me, I would be happy to know, sir. It makes little difference. I love your daughter, and am perfectly prepared to marry her with no dowry at all.”

  “That gives me great comfort, Mr. Darcy, great comfort indeed. But what say you to twenty thousand pounds, sir?"

  Darcy was astonished. Both his eyebrows rose and his mouth hung open in amazement. He had to shake himself before he could say anything at all. “Then, Mr. Bennet, I would imagine there are other things you keep in secret, such as your annual income?”

  All Mr. Bennet could do was laugh.

  “Mr. Bennet, to say I am surprised is an understatement. All of your daughters have a dowry of twenty thousand pounds?”

  “Well Mr. Darcy, Jane and Lizzy do, that is true. My other daughters’ dowries are somewhat less, though more than what is bandied around as YOUR annual income. But please, sir, I really do not care for my family to know any of this. You may, of course, tell Elizabeth in private if you like. But request her silence as well. If my wife became aware of my true income, she would drive me to distraction with her financial demands. I am certain she would insist I move by the end of the week to a finer estate, and there would be no dowry for any of my daughters by the end of three months,” he said as he let out a warm chuckle.

  “Mr. Bennet, this may be a very improper question, but how, I mean in what manner are your funds invested to acquire such wealth?”

  “Ah, you come to the crux of the matter. I have been rather sly with you, son. You and I have many investments in common, sir. The Royal Exchange Assurance, South Seas Company, West Indies Company and the Bank of England. Most recently, your Uncle Edward had me invest with the railroad scheme of which you are aware. I also have my own investments, many with my brother Gardiner.”

  “You will like him; by the way, they will arrive three days before the wedding. Lizzy’s Aunt and Uncle Gardner allowed her to spend much time in town, pursuing educational and cultural activities that have given her
benefits she would not have had if she had always remained here at Longbourn. You may want to become familiar with some of his investment projects, as they have netted me quite a substantial sum of late.”

  “I will look forward to meeting them. Elizabeth has talked enthusiastically about the Gardiners. Now I understand more of how you made your money, sir, but how did…”

  “How did I come to learn about the investments in the first place, you ask?” Mr. Bennet interrupted...

  “Yes sir,” Darcy replied.

  “Mr. Darcy, your father was my best friend. When young men, he and your Uncle Edward and I were inseparable. We met at Eton, and later attended Cambridge together. In fact, I accompanied your father on his Grand Tour. Your father and I were very close. There will never be as true a friend as your father. Your Uncle Edward and I still correspond; in fact, I just received a letter from him today. He is quite happy about your engagement, by the way.”

  Mr. Bennet paused for a moment and then continued. “The three of us were involved in many investment schemes together. I will always be grateful for his, as well as your uncle’s, financial guidance. It has proven quite helpful over the years. I could live on a much larger estate and provide poorly for my family. But Longbourn has been in my family for many generations. I had hoped to be able to leave it to my son. Alas, that was not to be, but at least I am able to do well by my daughters. Mrs. Bennet, for all her nerves, will be quite surprised by the fortune she will have at my demise. Her foretelling of being turned out into the hedgerows will never come true, I assure you.”

  “Mr. Bennet, there is one more thing that I need to discuss with you today. Since I now know of your friendship with my father, I know you must be familiar with Mr. Wickham.”